Moderator: Sex & Relationships Moderators
- Posts: 1583
- Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2003 3:03 pm
I like myself. I know I'm a mess and I feel good about being a mess. I actually like being a mess, coz when you know you're a mess at least you have an excuse for everything..
Anyway.. I'm too flirty. I don't seem to be able to talk to a guy or a man without being flirty. I just can't. I'm nice with people, always smiling. And when I look at a man, I always look at him in a way.. I can't even explain it! I smile, I touch my hair, I bite my lips, I use a sexy voice (not in a slutty way, but nice, in a flirtous way), and the worst is - I don't do it on purpose!!! I just start noticing it when the man is already into me. And when that happens I run away. I find an excuse and run away.
It has already caused me tons of problems.. Like at that job I had, I caused trouble in a structure with all men, I was the only girl. And there was the boss and his assistant that were in love with me. Then that other guy too. Then there was a lot of tention in the group, and it only got worse. So I left... (not only because fo that of course)
Then now at work my collegue is in love with me, and he's a veeeeeeeeeeeeery sensitive guy, and I really don't wanna gurt him, but he keeps telling me he's in love and gives compliments and little attentions and stuff... And we're a group of 5, I don't want any tension in there, I love my job!
And the worst problem is - I flirt, then stop. But at parties, I don't seem to control myself, I always stop when it's already too late. That has gotten me into horribly complicated situations.
Ok that wasn't the worst... The worst thing is - I have a bf....
How do I explain it? How do I manage it? Coz I really like the attention of the opposite sex. Maybe it's coz I always felt ugly as a kid (I always though I looked like a boy), and I felt ugly and fat as a teen (I really felt boys didn't like me). And now that I lost weight, I got very long hair and got my teeth straightened (they were a mess before).. I feel prettier. And when I started noticing that guys like me, I really liked it. And I don't seem to wanna stop...
But I should stop, right? For my own safety, for my bf, and for the guys I flirt with... :s
How do I manage that? Those of you who study osychology, do you have an explaination for this? Do you know ho I just stop it?... Do I even wanna stop it? :s I hate myself for this..
- Posts: 2224
- Joined: Wed Jan 22, 2003 10:40 pm
You making this post, leads me to believe that you feel that there is something wrong with whats happening and that you want to find a way to stop it. However there is no reason to hate yourself for it. Just try your best to modify your behavior to a level that you find acceptable and that doesn't cause negative outcomes for yourself and others.
Its a good thing that you like yourself and that others are positively noticing you, but like you stated, you don't want to go around hurting people. I'm no psychologist, but I would suggest that the best way to resolve this issue is to exercise self-control. You already know that you do these things, so start concentrating on not doing them when you are in those situations. It sounds simple but it is hard to do, if you concentrate hard, and stop yourself from doing these things, then it will become easier and then you won't even have to think about it anymore, because your behavior will have been modified.
-Hope this helps