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Have you experienced the pain of losing someone close to you? Do you grieve over the death of someone you knew? Here is a safe place to seek support.

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njh88_07
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Post by njh88_07 » Mon Jul 14, 2008 8:14 pm

Recently I graduated high school well actually it's been a little over a year now. One of the kids in my graduating class I had a crush on through high school. What I didn't know was that we were cousins. Even though I didn't know this we were very close. We actually never dated or anything like that but we talked a good bit during Math class and grew to know each other very well. Recently though he died in a horrific car accident not even more than a mile and a half from where he lived. I did not get to go to the funeral however I did get to go to the grave site just this past week. It hurt a lot to know he was gone. I asked my best friend from here the one that took me if she saw him at the viewing cause I didn't get to go to that either. She said she had. I also asked her if he looked like himself. She replied no his face was all swollen and he just didn't look like him. I can't help but feel anger towards the person that was in the car with him driving. They weren't good friends I mean they were friends but not what I consider to be really good friends it was more like they tolerated each other. Tyler was wearing a seat belt where Dan wasn't. Tyler is gone and Dan is still in the hospital alive. I miss him so very much and the bad thing is I just recently moved in with my gradparents and every Sunday I go to church with them. Tyler is burried at this church. I can't seem to get the pictures out of my head of seeing his grave site. I want to cry and it's like I just can't seem to get the tears to flow. I miss him greatly and before this happened I was thinking I should talk to Tyler see how he is doing. I never did. I guess I kind of blame myself for that even though I know that most of the time I thought about it I was busy doing other really important things like taking care of my three nieces at the time or trying to get my schooling set up so I can attend the fall semester. He is gone I will never see him again the only thing I can do is go to his grave and hope he can hear what I tell him. I miss him and just wish I could do anything to bring him back. It's like when my Nana died almost ten years ago I went to her grave never cried a tear then all of a sudden within the past year only at certain times will I break down and cry I usually don't stop for hours on end. It's hard for me knowing that I can't cry when I have the chance or even at the opportune times. I want to be able to say goodbye to my nana but I just can't seem to let go. It scares me that the same thing will happen with Tyler. He was mature for his age for being a guy no offense any of you. I just don't know how to get myself to grieve when it's the appropriate time. I want to be able to let go now so I don't have to feel the pain later in life. I want to be able to live my life the way I should. How can I bring myself to let go now so I can get it out of my mind? I just want him to know how much I love him and what a great person he was to all of those around him. With my Nana it's the same deal I just want to be able to let go and know she knows how much I loved her and what a difference she also made in my life. I am so lost and hurting so much.:(
Our attitude towards life determines lifes attitude towards us.

-Earl Nighingale



I may have done some things that are wrong but hey who hasn't? I don't know anyone that is perfect. Do you?



People don't die from suicide they die from sadness.

-ANONYMOUS





That which nourishes me also destroys me.

ANGELINA JOLIE -So true for me. I believe it.

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anonymous08
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Post by anonymous08 » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:05 pm

i don't know what to tell you nancy, but it sucks that someone so close to you is gone.

could you do something nice in his memory to commemorate his life?
You couldn't be suicidal if your life depended on it.



there i go again, pretending that i'll fall

don't call the doctors!

they've seen it all before

they'll say just let her crash and burn

she'll learn

the attention just encourages her.

- Dresden Dolls "Girl Anachronism"


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njh88_07
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Re: ...

Post by njh88_07 » Sat Jul 19, 2008 8:32 pm

I have really been trying to ignore these kinds of things lately due to the fact that all I want to do is cry. I just don't want to seem to stop. I guess I just need someone to talk to. Like you britt.
Our attitude towards life determines lifes attitude towards us.

-Earl Nighingale



I may have done some things that are wrong but hey who hasn't? I don't know anyone that is perfect. Do you?



People don't die from suicide they die from sadness.

-ANONYMOUS





That which nourishes me also destroys me.

ANGELINA JOLIE -So true for me. I believe it.

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