Children of Gay Couples Speak Out

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CanadaCraig
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Children of Gay Couples Speak Out

Post by CanadaCraig » Sun Jun 28, 2009 5:29 pm

Hi Everyone!! :)



I hope you're having a groovy day!!



http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflif ... index.html



Ideally - a child should be raised by a wonderfully loving and supportive married heterosexual man and woman. A mom and a dad. But the 'ideal' is not always possible. And that's the problem. So what do we do about it? We make the best of what IS possible. THAT is what we do. We consider the alternatives and be supportive of whatever is best for a child. IF the choice is between a child having NO loving parent - and having a loving gay parent - out of our love and respect FOR THAT CHILD - we should choose the gay parent. WHY? Because it is better for a child to be LOVED than to NOT be loved. It's as simple as that. Some people allow their fears and prejudices to convince them that it would be better for a child to be tossed aside and ignored than to be raised by someone who is gay. But I see no love in that. Denying a child the possibility of being loved and cared for is an act of cruelty. And that 'act of cruelty' can not be justified because an adult who has taken it upon themselves to be that love has something about them that 'we' might not understand and/or 'agree' with. But what about a boy - for instance - who is being raised by two 'moms'? Doesn't that little boy need a father - a MAN who can be his roll model? ABSOLUTELY. It's very important for a boy to have a man in his life that he can look up to. But most lesbian couples know this. And out of their love for that boy - their SON - they see to it that he DOES have a healthy male role model in his life. In fact - given that the lesbian couple can pick and choose a proper male role model for their son improves the odds in his favour that the role model will indeed be someone who IS 'healthy'. The boy isn't 'stuck' [So to speak] with having a 'dad' in his life who may NOT be 'healthy'. [An abusive, unloving alcoholic - or whatever - use your imagination] Would it not be better - FOR THAT BOY - to have a loving, supportive male role model in his life than an abusive man who just happens to 'be there' because he is his biological father? I think so.



LIFE is rarely easy. For anyone. So why go out of 'our' way to make it even more difficult for someone by denying them the opportuntiy to LOVE and someone the opportunity to BE LOVED?!



What do YOU think?!



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Fishhead
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Re: Children of Gay Couples Speak Out

Post by Fishhead » Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:54 pm

Why is a heterosexual couple ideal?

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Kit
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Re: Children of Gay Couples Speak Out

Post by Kit » Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:29 am

Oi... People really need to be more open minded. Atleast the kids are getting love, a home, food, something to drink and a LIFE. Who really cares if it's two females, or two males. So would there be a problem if two sisters were living together and raising a child? Or the same with brothers? Of course not because sex isn't involved then. So apparently what the government wants people to keep private(our sex lives) is actually on center stage if it was with the same sex. It's okay for it to be pure fantasy but not okay for long term and worse if you want kids... What kind of double standard is that? People need to start minding their own buisness.
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Re: Children of Gay Couples Speak Out

Post by CanadaCraig » Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:01 am

[quote name='Fishhead;499442']Why is a heterosexual couple ideal?[/quote]

Hi Fishhead!! :)



I hope you're OK.



Keep in mind - I specifically said 'wonderfully loving and supportive heterosexual man and woman' would be ideal. Simply BEING a heterosexual couple in no way guarantees that - as parents - they would be ideal. That said.... why ideal? Because kids need good role models representing both sexes. Boys - especially - need a 'good guy' to look up to. And IF in the home there is already both sexes represented - as in a 'mom AND dad' - all the better for the kids.



GBH - Craig!! :)
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Re: Children of Gay Couples Speak Out

Post by StarsHope » Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:56 pm

But who are you to say that every child NEEDS a male and a female role model? Many kids live in single parent homes and turn out fantastic. I don't think being a "'wonderfully loving and supportive heterosexual man and woman'" is any better than being a wonderfully loving and supportive HOMOSEXUAL couple. That is just your opinion and sadly that sort of opinion is what is keeping homosexual couples from receiving equal rights in the united states. that is such a sad sad sad fact.



the ideal situation is this - that every child has loving parents, be they hetero or homosexual couples, or homo or heterosexual single parent homes. THAT is the ideal situation. Instead of being terrified of homosexual couples raising children, maybe our country should focus on fixing foster care system.. fixing the homeless children situation... so forth and so on.
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Re: Children of Gay Couples Speak Out

Post by CanadaCraig » Fri Jul 03, 2009 7:14 am

Hi StarsHope!! <img src='http://www.helpingteens.org/groups/publ ... /smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />



Boys - far more than girls - absolutely NEED a male role model. That's just a matter of fact. And it's a fact that far too many females fail to appreciate. [Believing that 'they' and 'they alone' are 'more than enough for anyone] The only choice a single female parent [regardless of her sexual orientation] has in this regard is in WHO that male role model might be. [IF the boy doesn't already have a present and actively involved father or uncle or someone like that] If that female parent [Or lesbian couple] choose no one - the boy will choose one for himself. And far more often than not - the role model the boy chooses will NOT be what most would consider 'healthy'. [A 'movie star' or a 'Wrestler' or character in a video game OR some 'tough kid' at school] But like I said - most lesbian couples [At least the ones I've met and/or talked too] understand this and actively seek out a healthy male role model for their son. And do so because they love him - and want the best for him. That said - I agree. There is an awful lot of work to do when it comes to truly caring for 'our' kids.



That said.... if the so-called 'gay community' would find the courage to be more open and honest about this - I feel the road towards equality insofar as marriage and adoption would be considerably smoother. The focus - particularly when it comes to adoption - should be on the KIDS and NOT on the 'rights' of the single gay person and/or gay couple trying to adopt. It should be said OUT LOUD that 'we' ALSO have concerns and REALIZE that this is a unique situation - but if WE work together we can find a solution that appeals to the desire of every American and no child go unloved.



GBH - Craig!! <img src='http://www.helpingteens.org/groups/publ ... /smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />
"It takes FAR MORE COURAGE to be KIND than it does to be CRUEL!!"

Be sure to LIKE my Love The Bully Facebook Page!

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Re: Children of Gay Couples Speak Out

Post by CausticTears » Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:14 pm

I have always been told repeatedly that according to psychology, studies have proven that a child needs both a male and female figure in their lives. So, I opened my psychology book that I used in college and began looking for this topic. Ta-da!

"Psychologists have studied the personality of children who were reared by unmarried mothers, gay or lesbian couples, and families where the mother works full time and the father stays at home with the children. Parenting styles do differ; for example, fathers generally play with their children more, talk to them less, and tell them more facts with less praise. Single parents often have trouble paying the bills, and their children have trouble resulting from poverty.



However, according to the available data, if we control the effects of poverty, the other variables in family composition make little measurable difference. Researchers have found no consistent personality effects from being reared by one parent instead of two or mainly by the father instead of the mother or by gay or lesbian couples instead of a heterosexual couple."

(Introduction to Psychology, Kalat, 2005)


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Re: Children of Gay Couples Speak Out

Post by StarsHope » Fri Jul 03, 2009 5:28 pm

Caustic tears - THANK YOU!



Craig - while i respect your opinion i disagree. Boys dont absolutely NEED a male role model. Girls dont absolutely NEED a female role model. Saying you know that for a fact is ludicrous. Have you done your research or better yet examined the psyche of each and every child on the planet? I'm not saying SOME that there aren't some that need both male and female role models but every child? thatsa stretch.



Again - we need to focus on equality instead of the heterosexuals phobia of homosexuals. the end.
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[CENTER]"Reach for the moon... if you happen to miss you'll still be amoung the stars"



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