My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
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- CausticTears
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My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
Hey,
Sorry about the long post... couldn't really make it shorter.
Well, I have some things to talk about. I've tried talking to my friend about it and she's given me feedback that was good but still I don't believe she understands where I'm coming from. She's straight so I think she sees things a bit differently.
Just for background info: my mother is a bit homophobic and very traditional and my sister knows that I like girls but wishes and hopes that one day, I will settle for a man. And in terms of my own sexuality, I like women. I'm not sure where I stand with men; I feel unattracted to them. But, I haven't had a great long lasting bf. I've had boyfriends but I feel like I tried to force myself to pretend to like them.
To the point: So, my gf and I were in my bed last night and surprisingly, my mother and my sister come home (I didn't expect them home that early). Basically, they knew that we were engaging in sexual activities. So fuck. All hell broke lose. My mother went into an angry feud. My sister was holding down the bedroom door as my mom pounded on the door screaming things like how I could this and my gf was a whore. My sister was supportive. But whatever, it was a fucking nightmare. After my gf got safely out of the house; my sister, mom and I sat down to try to talk about.
My mom kept ranting that it wasn't normal, my sister kept saying I was confused and young and trying to experiment, and I was sitting stunned and getting in a few phrases of, I like women... I'm young (I'm 20 - so not so young) but I'm not so confused. I couldn't really manage to get in more words; I guess I was in shock. I never expected this day to come; I expected to come out and then be financially stable to move out.
Well, things calmed down. I watched a movie with my mom. And today is here. Now, I'm in a position of I dont knows. Is my mother thinking it was a one time thing and I'm confused? Or does she know that I possibly like women and doesn't want to deal with it? I'm not sure. And I don't know if I should bring this up for a while cause I'm scared of her angry quarrels. And I haven't announced to myself, yet, that I'm gay. I've announced that I'm bi to myself and my friends. I think I feel safe with that label because I'm giving myself the 50/50.
Ugh.
What should I do with this situation with my mom? I'm just so lost and I feel so out of it. I just need support.
Sorry about the long post... couldn't really make it shorter.
Well, I have some things to talk about. I've tried talking to my friend about it and she's given me feedback that was good but still I don't believe she understands where I'm coming from. She's straight so I think she sees things a bit differently.
Just for background info: my mother is a bit homophobic and very traditional and my sister knows that I like girls but wishes and hopes that one day, I will settle for a man. And in terms of my own sexuality, I like women. I'm not sure where I stand with men; I feel unattracted to them. But, I haven't had a great long lasting bf. I've had boyfriends but I feel like I tried to force myself to pretend to like them.
To the point: So, my gf and I were in my bed last night and surprisingly, my mother and my sister come home (I didn't expect them home that early). Basically, they knew that we were engaging in sexual activities. So fuck. All hell broke lose. My mother went into an angry feud. My sister was holding down the bedroom door as my mom pounded on the door screaming things like how I could this and my gf was a whore. My sister was supportive. But whatever, it was a fucking nightmare. After my gf got safely out of the house; my sister, mom and I sat down to try to talk about.
My mom kept ranting that it wasn't normal, my sister kept saying I was confused and young and trying to experiment, and I was sitting stunned and getting in a few phrases of, I like women... I'm young (I'm 20 - so not so young) but I'm not so confused. I couldn't really manage to get in more words; I guess I was in shock. I never expected this day to come; I expected to come out and then be financially stable to move out.
Well, things calmed down. I watched a movie with my mom. And today is here. Now, I'm in a position of I dont knows. Is my mother thinking it was a one time thing and I'm confused? Or does she know that I possibly like women and doesn't want to deal with it? I'm not sure. And I don't know if I should bring this up for a while cause I'm scared of her angry quarrels. And I haven't announced to myself, yet, that I'm gay. I've announced that I'm bi to myself and my friends. I think I feel safe with that label because I'm giving myself the 50/50.
Ugh.
What should I do with this situation with my mom? I'm just so lost and I feel so out of it. I just need support.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
-Leo Buscaglia
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- Leapfrog
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
Hey,
Sorry about the long post... couldn't really make it shorter.
Well, I have some things to talk about. I've tried talking to my friend about it and she's given me feedback that was good but still I don't believe she understands where I'm coming from. She's straight so I think she sees things a bit differently.
Just for background info: my mother is a bit homophobic and very traditional and my sister knows that I like girls but wishes and hopes that one day, I will settle for a man. And in terms of my own sexuality, I like women. I'm not sure where I stand with men; I feel unattracted to them. But, I haven't had a great long lasting bf. I've had boyfriends but I feel like I tried to force myself to pretend to like them.
To the point: So, my gf and I were in my bed last night and surprisingly, my mother and my sister come home (I didn't expect them home that early). Basically, they knew that we were engaging in sexual activities. So fuck. All hell broke lose. My mother went into an angry feud. My sister was holding down the bedroom door as my mom pounded on the door screaming things like how I could this and my gf was a whore. My sister was supportive. But whatever, it was a fucking nightmare. After my gf got safely out of the house; my sister, mom and I sat down to try to talk about.
My mom kept ranting that it wasn't normal, my sister kept saying I was confused and young and trying to experiment, and I was sitting stunned and getting in a few phrases of, I like women... I'm young (I'm 20 - so not so young) but I'm not so confused. I couldn't really manage to get in more words; I guess I was in shock. I never expected this day to come; I expected to come out and then be financially stable to move out.
Well, things calmed down. I watched a movie with my mom. And today is here. Now, I'm in a position of I dont knows. Is my mother thinking it was a one time thing and I'm confused? Or does she know that I possibly like women and doesn't want to deal with it? I'm not sure. And I don't know if I should bring this up for a while cause I'm scared of her angry quarrels. And I haven't announced to myself, yet, that I'm gay. I've announced that I'm bi to myself and my friends. I think I feel safe with that label because I'm giving myself the 50/50.
Ugh.
What should I do with this situation with my mom? I'm just so lost and I feel so out of it. I just need support.
[/b]
My best friend got the same response from her entire family when they found out she was gay.
Your sister just doesn't want to accept it, so shes saying your confused. It's a pretty standard response, though I have heard of it more so when the boys come out and say there gay, then with girls.
I would assume that now your mom just doesn't want to deal with it. That tends to be how we respond, as people, to thinks we don't understand or don't like. We just ignore them.
- CausticTears
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
Well, an hour or so ago she came into my room and we briefly talked about sexuality. I guess she believes sexuality happens because of something/an incident and that it can be changed. She told me to change myself and become normal, because it's not normal. Oy.
Edit: update: not just my mom. it's my sister, too. I'm not sure how we will all deal with this. cause i am not stable, for one.
Edit: update: not just my mom. it's my sister, too. I'm not sure how we will all deal with this. cause i am not stable, for one.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
-Leo Buscaglia
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- Lostinhersong
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
I am in the same boat you are with my mom right now as we speak. I am in therapy, and my therapist is trying to help me "come out" to my mom. Well, as I brought it up to my mom, she told me that I must be mistaken, that it was just a phase, and I would find a nice guy sometime in the future. Heh. Yeah right, I've found a wonderful girl, but no guy.
I also do not know where I stand, so I stick to the "Bi" label, though I'm very sure I'm attracted to girls only. What I did with my mom, is that I'm just allowing her to deal with it in her own time. She'll come around eventually, and once she does, everything will hopefully be a little better.
My own sister is as homophobic as your mom Caustic, and I'm terrified to tell her. In a sense, your sister is my mother, while my mother is your sister. Hopefully your mom will realize that this is not something that can be changed, and you're still YOU, your just not "Normal", or so the general population considers heterosexual people. I hope everything works out. Good luck!
I also do not know where I stand, so I stick to the "Bi" label, though I'm very sure I'm attracted to girls only. What I did with my mom, is that I'm just allowing her to deal with it in her own time. She'll come around eventually, and once she does, everything will hopefully be a little better.
My own sister is as homophobic as your mom Caustic, and I'm terrified to tell her. In a sense, your sister is my mother, while my mother is your sister. Hopefully your mom will realize that this is not something that can be changed, and you're still YOU, your just not "Normal", or so the general population considers heterosexual people. I hope everything works out. Good luck!
"Excuse me while I go and have a 'geek-gasm' "- random guy at Comic-Con '07
Brittni: -rips pants off of me-
Me: HEY! I was wearing those!
Brittni: My pants...I therefore have the right to revoke your right of wearing them. I just acted upon my right, and flattened your right...
Me: Yeah...You're right.
Brittni: -rips pants off of me-
Me: HEY! I was wearing those!
Brittni: My pants...I therefore have the right to revoke your right of wearing them. I just acted upon my right, and flattened your right...
Me: Yeah...You're right.
- Lena
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
I wonder if you've ever come across the book 'Why men don't listen and women can't read maps' (If you've not heard of it and want to try and get a copy/borrow from the library, I'll go find my copy and tell you who the authors are (a married couple).
The book not only explains the differences between men and women and why they occur but (and this is the part I think would come in useful for you) it also explains sexuality. The book describes how sexuality is not something we choose, but how it is something physically programmed in our brain chemistry as a result of a few different factors. Now personally I don't believe that the explanation the book gives is the only valid one out there, however I do believe that its valid and that it could help you explain to your mom in this situation.
Take care,
Lena.
The book not only explains the differences between men and women and why they occur but (and this is the part I think would come in useful for you) it also explains sexuality. The book describes how sexuality is not something we choose, but how it is something physically programmed in our brain chemistry as a result of a few different factors. Now personally I don't believe that the explanation the book gives is the only valid one out there, however I do believe that its valid and that it could help you explain to your mom in this situation.
Take care,
Lena.
Woman can not live on tea or chocolate alone.... but she can give it a damn good try.
- SirPostAlot
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
Hmm, this is a very iffy situation (and probably the fears of the majority of the LGBT community)...
i know personally before i came out i was afraid of my parents reaction (esp. mom) b/c we are close, but the fact is that closeness will help bring sexuality to the point of being okay...
I mean she may never wrap her arms around your partner with the same feeling w/ you, but just knowing that you are happy should be an incentive to accept the lifestyle...
There are some parents that feel that a GLBT child is in someway their fault...
What i would do is this: when you and your mother are in a good move, ask her if you can talk to her honostly...sit her down and just explain everything calmly...Be the adult...If she acts out of turn or throws a fit, say that you will give her time to think about it, and when she is ready to come back to you, and then leave the room...
If she comes to you yelling again, just say that you are not interested in listening to her while she is upset...
It is about showing that you are not a child, and that you are an adult and you aren't ashamed of your sexuality...
it may take several days/weeks or she might be okay with it in one convo, but the point is not to give up...to show your mother that you like who you are and that you are happy with who you are...
Mothers want the best for their children - and she may think that the best is to be "normal", but she her that you are happy...prove to her that in your heart (well theoretically your brain is the stimulation of desire, but anyway - we'll go w/ heart) that you love yourself and you would apprechaite it if she loved you for you...
Tell her that no matter what (if she doesn't approve or if hse does approve) you will still love her the same, and just hope that she can love you the same in return...
It is truly about just being the adult and showing her that you are who you are and you are happy...
Does that make sence?
Good luck, please keep us informed! Feel free to contact me if you need anything!
~Jeff~
i know personally before i came out i was afraid of my parents reaction (esp. mom) b/c we are close, but the fact is that closeness will help bring sexuality to the point of being okay...
I mean she may never wrap her arms around your partner with the same feeling w/ you, but just knowing that you are happy should be an incentive to accept the lifestyle...
There are some parents that feel that a GLBT child is in someway their fault...
What i would do is this: when you and your mother are in a good move, ask her if you can talk to her honostly...sit her down and just explain everything calmly...Be the adult...If she acts out of turn or throws a fit, say that you will give her time to think about it, and when she is ready to come back to you, and then leave the room...
If she comes to you yelling again, just say that you are not interested in listening to her while she is upset...
It is about showing that you are not a child, and that you are an adult and you aren't ashamed of your sexuality...
it may take several days/weeks or she might be okay with it in one convo, but the point is not to give up...to show your mother that you like who you are and that you are happy with who you are...
Mothers want the best for their children - and she may think that the best is to be "normal", but she her that you are happy...prove to her that in your heart (well theoretically your brain is the stimulation of desire, but anyway - we'll go w/ heart) that you love yourself and you would apprechaite it if she loved you for you...
Tell her that no matter what (if she doesn't approve or if hse does approve) you will still love her the same, and just hope that she can love you the same in return...
It is truly about just being the adult and showing her that you are who you are and you are happy...
Does that make sence?
Good luck, please keep us informed! Feel free to contact me if you need anything!
~Jeff~
- CausticTears
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
Thank you for the replies.
Lena: I've never read that book but I checked it out on amazon.com and it looks interesting. I might pick up a copy the next time I go to the bookstore. I do need to read books like to educate myself about gender and sexuality; definetly needed. for everyone.
Jeff: At first, I thought it would be my mom that would give me a hard time. But it seems to be my sister, now. It's for sure that they both think I'm curiously confused and was just experimenting with this girl, which is my gf. My mom doesn't want to believe I could possibly be gay, I suppose. And my sister has given me speeches of how she was confused at one point and how I don't know for sure since I am so young. yadda yadda. Well, I'm 20 years old. I've been dealing and recognizing my sexuality since the begining of high school. I do know that I like women. I don't feel support around me, really. I feel alone in this damn sexuality of mine. I looked at a lesbian conversation group around here, I'm planning to go.
Back on this topic, though: I think I could deal with my mother and have a normal conversation with her about my sexuality. But my sister? Yeah, fuck that. She isn't very understanding; according to her I am selfish for not thinking about my family. Being with someone they accepted, a man, would make them happy. It's not all about my happyness.
Obviously, I care about my family. I am puzzled. I wish I could push away my like in women and stick to just men. If that were possible, this whole shabang wouldn't be happening. Do you think it's possible to change one's sexuality?
Lena: I've never read that book but I checked it out on amazon.com and it looks interesting. I might pick up a copy the next time I go to the bookstore. I do need to read books like to educate myself about gender and sexuality; definetly needed. for everyone.
Jeff: At first, I thought it would be my mom that would give me a hard time. But it seems to be my sister, now. It's for sure that they both think I'm curiously confused and was just experimenting with this girl, which is my gf. My mom doesn't want to believe I could possibly be gay, I suppose. And my sister has given me speeches of how she was confused at one point and how I don't know for sure since I am so young. yadda yadda. Well, I'm 20 years old. I've been dealing and recognizing my sexuality since the begining of high school. I do know that I like women. I don't feel support around me, really. I feel alone in this damn sexuality of mine. I looked at a lesbian conversation group around here, I'm planning to go.
Back on this topic, though: I think I could deal with my mother and have a normal conversation with her about my sexuality. But my sister? Yeah, fuck that. She isn't very understanding; according to her I am selfish for not thinking about my family. Being with someone they accepted, a man, would make them happy. It's not all about my happyness.
Obviously, I care about my family. I am puzzled. I wish I could push away my like in women and stick to just men. If that were possible, this whole shabang wouldn't be happening. Do you think it's possible to change one's sexuality?
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
-Leo Buscaglia
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- Saren
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
I think the only way to change someone's sexuality is by "brain-washing." Trying to make them believe they like that sex when they really don't. So in all reality, I see it as them molding you into something you are not. Just forcing you to believe different. Even then, you will be confused and truely unhappy.
We are who we were made to be, and we shouldn't be ashamed of something like the person we are attracted to. After all, we are just humans. If you think about it, how silly is it to be worried about the gender rather than the TYPE of person you are with? I'd be more concerned over murderers and the such, because those are the types that can do actual harm. Society is concerned with such bizarre things these days, that it seems they've gone basurk over the smallest things that make us more paranoid than ever to this very day.
Everyone is so used to the fact of liking men, that they think it unnatural to like the same sex, when in all essance, it's not unusual at all. In history it was widely accepted. Only when the concept of marriage came along, it was seen as men and women. Especially through the churches (I'm not gonna get into religion, don't worry).
So what I'm trying to say is, I know you care about your family deeply and want them to accept that very side of you, but I think the important part of it is, you be yourself. Our parents love every bit of us, and it is just the fear that holds the other part of it back. Like Alicia said, people fear what they don't understand. They think the lifestyle is different. It's not. You can't make people believe what they don't want to, but you can live your life to the way that it was meant to be in a harmless manner. And this is, no doubt, harmless. Whether they choose to accept it or not is honestly their decision. Just know that either way, you have tons of support from all over, and you shouldn't let this consume you, hun. <3 You are who you are, and as far as I see, if I hadn't known this about you and just found out, you'd be the same person to me. So it shows that we all choose to accept things to our own extent.
Some are just ignorant, some just refuse to believe what they've known in their hearts all these years. You shouldn't refuse yourself. Your friends wouldn't want that, and I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't either. You are loved regardless.
I'm sorry I can't try to find a way to make your family 100% supportive, but all I can say is try to stay calm about it. Show that what they say doesn't affect you, and let them know you are who you are, and no one else. It takes that part of you to let them know that it isn't just confusion or something you chose on your own. It's apart of you, and if they aren't going to accept it like that, then they'll have to learn to deal with it. They'll still love you regardless. If they try to give you speeches, like I said. Don't let it affect you.
I'm sorry I may not have been much help. I just hope I can reassure you that you are amazing person no matter what.
<3 Take care. <3 PM me if you ever just wanna talk.
-Samantha
We are who we were made to be, and we shouldn't be ashamed of something like the person we are attracted to. After all, we are just humans. If you think about it, how silly is it to be worried about the gender rather than the TYPE of person you are with? I'd be more concerned over murderers and the such, because those are the types that can do actual harm. Society is concerned with such bizarre things these days, that it seems they've gone basurk over the smallest things that make us more paranoid than ever to this very day.
Everyone is so used to the fact of liking men, that they think it unnatural to like the same sex, when in all essance, it's not unusual at all. In history it was widely accepted. Only when the concept of marriage came along, it was seen as men and women. Especially through the churches (I'm not gonna get into religion, don't worry).
So what I'm trying to say is, I know you care about your family deeply and want them to accept that very side of you, but I think the important part of it is, you be yourself. Our parents love every bit of us, and it is just the fear that holds the other part of it back. Like Alicia said, people fear what they don't understand. They think the lifestyle is different. It's not. You can't make people believe what they don't want to, but you can live your life to the way that it was meant to be in a harmless manner. And this is, no doubt, harmless. Whether they choose to accept it or not is honestly their decision. Just know that either way, you have tons of support from all over, and you shouldn't let this consume you, hun. <3 You are who you are, and as far as I see, if I hadn't known this about you and just found out, you'd be the same person to me. So it shows that we all choose to accept things to our own extent.
Some are just ignorant, some just refuse to believe what they've known in their hearts all these years. You shouldn't refuse yourself. Your friends wouldn't want that, and I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't either. You are loved regardless.
I'm sorry I can't try to find a way to make your family 100% supportive, but all I can say is try to stay calm about it. Show that what they say doesn't affect you, and let them know you are who you are, and no one else. It takes that part of you to let them know that it isn't just confusion or something you chose on your own. It's apart of you, and if they aren't going to accept it like that, then they'll have to learn to deal with it. They'll still love you regardless. If they try to give you speeches, like I said. Don't let it affect you.
I'm sorry I may not have been much help. I just hope I can reassure you that you are amazing person no matter what.
<3 Take care. <3 PM me if you ever just wanna talk.
-Samantha
- CausticTears
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
Thanks a lot for that Samana. It made me feel a bit better after reading that. I'm gonna try my best to not let their talks to me affect me; it's a bit hard but eh.. I'll have to stick it through. I just never want to be the burden my family will see; I do not want to be looked at as the sick, messed up one. But, eh if I do look like that to them... so be it. Right? If they love me, they will eventually accept me.
I'm hopefully gonna go to that lesbian conversation group next week just so I can meet actual lesbians who have stuck it through and came out already.
Thanks for the repliesssss...
I'm hopefully gonna go to that lesbian conversation group next week just so I can meet actual lesbians who have stuck it through and came out already.
Thanks for the repliesssss...
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
-Leo Buscaglia
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- Paris In Flames
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
Hey there,
I'm sorry to hear about all of your troubles. I empathize with the situation and perhaps I can tell you what happened with me? That might help.
I came out to my parents two years ago. My mother was raised very Catholic and it hit her like a sack of bricks - she had no idea that I was a lesbian and it had never occured to her that "her daughter" could be one. My father accepted it with open arms. She took away my TV and blamed commercials.
I think at first she was very upset and hurt that I hadn't told her sooner. She felt distant from me because I'd never let her into that part of my life. Moreover, I think she was enraged that somebody like me was gay because I'm not a stereotypical bulldyke, you know? Perhaps that is part of your mother's concern, you don't fit the stereotype that society sees as "the lesbian."
It took my mum about a year to accept me. To this day I know she doesn't, but she pretends to...but I know that she's trying her best. I offered for them to sit me down and ask me questions, perhaps you could try that with her.
My point is that I made it clear to my parents that I KNEW what my sexual orientation was. It's not going to help your mum if you're like, "well I haven't really had a real realationship with a boy so I wouldn't know..." because that makes her think that you're confused. To me, actually, you sound slightly confused.
You have to be OPEN about it and THERE. Be like, "Mum, I LIKE girls. I enjoy HAVING SEX with girls. I ENJOY BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS with girls because I'm GAY." You know? As long as YOU know what you want, she cannot have any effect on that and she will figure that out. You're 20 fucking years old, she should have no say in your dating life. Don't call yourself young, you not!! You're old enough to know WHO you want to date. You're old enough to know WHO you are and WHO you want to be.
Good luck, ignore her bullshit talks.
Stay there and be confident, talk to her with an open mind and don't let her ignorance upset you. Accept it and realise that is how she is. We are products of our time and beliefs, she is a perfect example of that.
Do not let her have any effect on your thought process involving what makes you happy.
Tell her that.
If you are happy, then she should love you.
Take care and good luck,
Jenna
P.s. I added you on myspace if you ever want to talk. I'm a good listener and I've been through it.
I'm sorry to hear about all of your troubles. I empathize with the situation and perhaps I can tell you what happened with me? That might help.
I came out to my parents two years ago. My mother was raised very Catholic and it hit her like a sack of bricks - she had no idea that I was a lesbian and it had never occured to her that "her daughter" could be one. My father accepted it with open arms. She took away my TV and blamed commercials.
I think at first she was very upset and hurt that I hadn't told her sooner. She felt distant from me because I'd never let her into that part of my life. Moreover, I think she was enraged that somebody like me was gay because I'm not a stereotypical bulldyke, you know? Perhaps that is part of your mother's concern, you don't fit the stereotype that society sees as "the lesbian."
It took my mum about a year to accept me. To this day I know she doesn't, but she pretends to...but I know that she's trying her best. I offered for them to sit me down and ask me questions, perhaps you could try that with her.
My point is that I made it clear to my parents that I KNEW what my sexual orientation was. It's not going to help your mum if you're like, "well I haven't really had a real realationship with a boy so I wouldn't know..." because that makes her think that you're confused. To me, actually, you sound slightly confused.
You have to be OPEN about it and THERE. Be like, "Mum, I LIKE girls. I enjoy HAVING SEX with girls. I ENJOY BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS with girls because I'm GAY." You know? As long as YOU know what you want, she cannot have any effect on that and she will figure that out. You're 20 fucking years old, she should have no say in your dating life. Don't call yourself young, you not!! You're old enough to know WHO you want to date. You're old enough to know WHO you are and WHO you want to be.
Good luck, ignore her bullshit talks.
Stay there and be confident, talk to her with an open mind and don't let her ignorance upset you. Accept it and realise that is how she is. We are products of our time and beliefs, she is a perfect example of that.
Do not let her have any effect on your thought process involving what makes you happy.
Tell her that.
If you are happy, then she should love you.
Take care and good luck,
Jenna
P.s. I added you on myspace if you ever want to talk. I'm a good listener and I've been through it.
xMOSHx xHELLA HARDCOREx xBREAKDOWNx
The tragedy is the ignorance behind the clean casket
On the outside, they look so good
They're walking to Wallstreet in a straightjacket...
The tragedy is the ignorance behind the clean casket
On the outside, they look so good
They're walking to Wallstreet in a straightjacket...
- Bleeding~Hero
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
I think your mom just doesnt want to deal with it. It's just too much for her, and instead of facing it she is going to bury it in the floor boards and ignore it.
The problem is, eventually something snaps, and bad things happen.
All I can say is, avoid eye contact.
The problem is, eventually something snaps, and bad things happen.
All I can say is, avoid eye contact.
- CausticTears
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
Hell rose again last night. I lied to my sis and mom about where I was last night when I was really at a hotel w/ my gf. Oy. Not like we did anything, but the title of hotel is freaky. But, my sister continuously called me... like literally 20 times in a row... until I eventually picked up. And she started cursing at me calling me a whore and just yelling. So fuck, I broke down and told her where I really was.
It really just frustrates me because I'm 20 and not 13 anymore. Obviously, I shouldn't lie but I feel like I have no option but to lie. Can anybody feel me here?
I came home with my friend that my mom knows well and my mom was seemingly calm. She seemed irritated a little but calm. We havent really talked about it yet but I feel like I can handle my mom. My sister, on the other hand, breaks me down. She overpowers you.
I fucking hate this shit. I feel like I am 13 again.
It really just frustrates me because I'm 20 and not 13 anymore. Obviously, I shouldn't lie but I feel like I have no option but to lie. Can anybody feel me here?
I came home with my friend that my mom knows well and my mom was seemingly calm. She seemed irritated a little but calm. We havent really talked about it yet but I feel like I can handle my mom. My sister, on the other hand, breaks me down. She overpowers you.
I fucking hate this shit. I feel like I am 13 again.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
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- Doug
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
It really just frustrates me because I'm 20 and not 13 anymore. Obviously, I shouldn't lie but I feel like I have no option but to lie. Can anybody feel me here? [/b]
I can. I came out to my mom a few years ago and my dad over the summer. Needless to say, I don't have much of a relationship with either of them anymore. My mom tries, but she's having a lot of trouble accepting it.
I don't know what your home situation is like, but I think it's time for you to try really hard to become financially independent and move out. If you're in school, you can get financial aid to do it. If you're working, pick up some more hours and save the money.
Is there anyone you can stay with temporarily? Maybe friends or other family members that would be more accepting (or put pressure on your immediate family to calm down)? You shouldn't have to put up with this, but there's no real great way to solve it in the short term. It could take them quite a while to, at least, tolerate it.
"Yeah, I'm a great lesbian. Are you a good lesbian, Doug?" - Jenna
- Red
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Re: My Mom Has A Good Idea Now
Aww. I know what it's like to feel trapped like that-- I'm 17, 18 in 3 weeks and my parents refuse to let me visit my best friend from middle school that lives an hour and a half away. They don't know that he's gay, or that I am for the matter. I don't think my mom would care actually. It's my dad I'm afraid of, not because he is a very strong figure as he really isn't. It's just that his family is very white and conservative while my moms side is very liberal and accepting. Gossip goes through his family way too fast too.
Hell rose again last night. I lied to my sis and mom about where I was last night when I was really at a hotel w/ my gf. Oy. Not like we did anything, but the title of hotel is freaky. But, my sister continuously called me... like literally 20 times in a row... until I eventually picked up. And she started cursing at me calling me a whore and just yelling. So fuck, I broke down and told her where I really was.
It really just frustrates me because I'm 20 and not 13 anymore. Obviously, I shouldn't lie but I feel like I have no option but to lie. Can anybody feel me here?
I came home with my friend that my mom knows well and my mom was seemingly calm. She seemed irritated a little but calm. We havent really talked about it yet but I feel like I can handle my mom. My sister, on the other hand, breaks me down. She overpowers you.
I fucking hate this shit. I feel like I am 13 again.
[/b]
I'm actually surprised your family didn't accept you... Usually California is very liberal. All of my friends, and well pretty much my school has been fine with who I am. I don't know whether it's the fact they accept me or they just don't care, either way it works for me.
I hope it all works out well for you. Just give it time, some people just don't understand. My best friends younger sister yesterday asked me why I decided I didn't like women anymore.
For me, I plan to tell my parents, I just haven't decided when. I'm just happy I'm going off to a university at least two hours away next year as I refuse to go to school in LA.