Question

[Kit]

I have a big question - What is the point of having sex if it doesn't MEAN anything or if you can't see yourself with that person for the rest of your life? I've read a lot and have heard a lot of people ask questions that you can't really help them with, or have fears, or bluntly say that they are only doing it for "the fun of it" and I don't understand why. What is the point? The only fear someone should have is what color condom, or what ever. (sarcasm).



So tell me - Why?

[FiZzBaW]

Friend,



I'm not certain I understand your question. I think you are asking if there is a point of "just having sex" without emotional attachment/intention.



If that is your question, to me the answer is that there is no real point. At this time I do not see allowing myself to have sex with someone if I don't feel something for them. Sex should be something special that you only share with someone you have feelings for. Grant it, this is a personal opinion.



I understand people having sex strictly for the pleasure, and I know it occurs. That's there prerogative and I don't look down upon them for it. But participating in that sort of activity is just not in my character.



If that wasn't your question, please clarify so that I can better answer.



-My thoughts

-FiZz

[Kit]

yes, that is/was my question. I just don't understand what the point is if you're not going to stay with that person...for forever. With the risks of STDs, unwanted pregnancies, etc, I don't understand why people take that risk. I'm not saying it is bad to have sex before marriage because I am guilty of doing so - BUT, I am married to him now....

[Nikki]

For the physical pleasure for example? I mean, maybe you don't take that much pleasure in it, coz everybody has a different sex-drive, but seriously, it does feel good! You do still eat the chocolate even though you knwo it's bad for your teeth, it can make you fat and stuff, right? For the same reason you would have sex, knowing the risks but longing for pleasure.



and yea, to add to your last post - there are people that don't plan on getting married AT ALL. Does this mean they have to stay virgin forever? Some people are not that monogamous as the others, so what?

[MattMan]

yeah, I kinda agree with what everyone else has said, but I'm reaffirming it even more probably by posting again, but sex does just feel just so darn good! I dunno if I'm gonna ever get married, I'm not religious, nor am I a stickler for morals, or ethics in some cases, but sex is one thing that I think way over 99% of people need or at least need the hope or idea of to stay sane, even if you plan to be chaste for your whole life, you still need the idea that there's that out there to kinda tempt you or whatever.

[SexyLittleDoll]

lol For the fun of it. Sometimes sex is a stress reliever sometimes it just makes you feel really good and you do it simply for that reason. Of course it feels better when you are in a loving relationship, but were humans.. and we tend to do what feels good. Same question of why do people eat junk food? ... because it tastes good. I mean hey it makes them fat and unhealthy but it still tastes good.

[Kit]

Like I said before - I don't think it is wrong because I did so also. It's just that... a couple says ago we found out that my sister has gonoreah(sp?) and is pregnant without knowing the father. Pleasure is great - awesome...but some of the risks are extreamly frightening. To think of living for a couple years and not the entire life-span because of HIV/AIDS and because of "just for the hell of it and pleasure"....Kinda scares me even more and it sounds - to me - a tad bit selfish. Now my sister is sick and her child will be sick and wont ever know his/her father. In one of my classes we were talk to this girl who didn't know her father and what not and even though her mother did good to her and gave her everything - it still isn't enough because her step dad wasn't her REAL dad. She deals with stress related obesety(sp), depression and the works.



Eh - I dunno...I'm confused...

[Nikki]

use protection?

[SirPostAlot]

kit i am in the same boat as you...

i mean i admit that i have had sex (:'() and now that it is over i mean i don't see what the huge idea about it is . . .

i mean to me there is more to life than sex, but i know many many people who enjoy having sex ~ like how i enjoy reading or playing games, they enjoy having sex (and though it is riskier - that is sorta what they are into)...

its about a person risk taking ability...you know?



~Jeff~

[Kit]

use protection?

[/b]

Doesn't always work.

[snowboardgirl_16]

I can honestly say that I could never have a one night stand... yeah as sure as good as it feels, but it feels that much better when you love the person and know that they are always going to be there for you, rather than just some random. And with being in a good relationship, if anything does happen (unwanted pregnancy) I know that he'll always be there for me... I used to believe in no sex before marriage, but in the past year I've taken on a new attitude that if I love the person, why not? Yes, I am still a virgin, but I have done everything but actual intercourse. But I believe that "you can't make love until you're in love". A lot of my friends who do the whole one night stand thing to satisfy their urges say that it is so much better when you are in a relationship cause sex gives you such a connection (not just physical) and with their one-night stands it is all about the physical and is most of the time not that great cause there is no emotional aspect in it.



Not to mention the increased changes of getting an STD or pregnant by some random...

[SexyLittleDoll]

This isn't an excuse but sometimes you get wrapped up in the moment.

[Nikki]

use protection?

[/b]

Doesn't always work.

[/b][/quote]

Ok, you go out of your house, you cross the road, you look to the left, right, but oops, a car come real fast and hits you. You were careful, but it didn't work.

My point is, there's a risk in everything we do. We use as much protaction we can but it doesn't always work. You can't be protected from everything. You know, people jump with parachute, practice dangerous sports... why don't you wonder why they do that? It's dangerous, isn't it? Or you can even break a hip playing volleyball or running (at a gym class!). But it doesn't mean that people that like it will stop doing this because they're afraid of taking the risk. You shouldn't get out of the house if you don't wanna get risk, and even then, there's some risk getting hurt at home.



Risk of getting a desease or getting pregnant is the same thing - you use protection, but it may not work. It's just, there's also a risk that I get hit by a truck tomorrow, but at least I'll have lived, daring and taking risks.

[Jess128]

I think there's different kinds of sex also. You can have sex just for the pleasure and fun of it with someone you hardly know or have no emotional connection with, or you can have it with someone you love. I've done both, and both can be great. But I think that it's still a different kind of sex. Like when I've done it with someone I don't love, I'd rather just have a quickie doggie style or something haha. But if it's with my bf then it's nice to do the foreplay and the kissing and touching and all that lovely closeness stuff. Just putting in my 2 cents. And I agree that there's a risk in everything we do. You can't not do something just cause there's a risk of something bad. What would be the point of living if we all lived life in fear?