Meaning Of Sex?

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snowboardgirl_16
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Meaning Of Sex?

Post by snowboardgirl_16 »

So I'm a virgin, but my boyfriend isn't. Its not going to happen for a while.. if ever, cause I know that I'm completely not ready and he's not pressuring me to do anything, touching, oral or anything.. I kind of have always believed in no sex before marriage, not for religious reasons cause I don't believe in God or anthing, but I dunno, I think sex is a big "emotionally" connection and you can't make love until you're in love. Anyway, what bothers me slightly about it, is that yes, he's not a virgin, I figured since he dated his second last girlfriend for almost 3 years, but only two of the girls he's slept with have been in relationships, the other 5 have been randoms.. well not really randoms, but one night stands with girls he knew. When we had our "sex" talk he asked me what I think about sex, and I told him that I think its a pretty big connection between two people and its very emotional as well as physical, and shows how much you care and trust the person. I kind of asked him how could he do the whole "one night stand" thing and he said "I dunno, it is just something to do, but sex in relationships is about the whole 'emotional' connection thing and more meaningful". I guess I'm just bothered by the fact that with 5 people sex is just sex, whatever, had fun, move on, but yet at the same time sex with a girlfriend its different? Is that the same sex we are talking about? I guess I'm confused, because I don't want to just be some 'random, brag about friends, conquest' type of thing. I know my boyfriend is not like that all, he treats me with a lot of respect... but still.. its at the back of my mind. I dunno... just wondering your thoughts on this...? Cause I really don't know since I'm a virgin and I'm kind of confused....?
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Nikki
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Re: Meaning Of Sex?

Post by Nikki »

yea, it's all because you're a virgin I think. Once you lose your virginity and start enjoying sex for sex, you see it differently. Sex can be just physical, or physical and emotional at a time. It's almost never just emotional (well, it is if you don't enjoy the physical part of it).

Having one night stands isn't really a big deal, it is that "only physical" sex, and it's just for physical pleasure. And believe me, it feels really good sometimes to have pleasure without any commitment.

But when it's with the person you love, there are emotions in it too, and then it feels different.
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kellykelly
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Re: Meaning Of Sex?

Post by kellykelly »

i use to be like you too.. i thought i'd wait til marriage to have sex. but i didn't. i did wait until i fell in love with my boyfriend that i'm with now and we waited for awhile before we had sex. he wasn't a virgin i was. very similar. he never pushed me for anything but we did mess around.. so i duno? but there is a difference. sex is just sex. the emotinal part is 'making love' as corny as that may sound. and you can be in a relationship and have both, atleast i think. some nights we take things slow and its all pretty romantic other times is like sheet ripping clothes flying off kinda action. the second is more fun but the first brings us alot closer. lol. plus you can't change a person's past. as hard as it may be to stomach guys have one night stands, my b/f admitted he had one. and you have to let go of that. as long as he's good to you and doesn't pressure you and doesn't try to force it on it or change your beliefs respect him for who he is now and let go of his past or it only causes trouble, believe me on that..
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Halo_n_Horns
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Re: Meaning Of Sex?

Post by Halo_n_Horns »

To be honest, it depends totally on the two people together and the mood. Sometimes rough is what you want, sometimes making love slowly and tenderly is nice.

Personally, I see sex as just fun and I'm a girl.
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