:'(

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SirPostAlot
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:'(

Post by SirPostAlot »

Okay so tonght i did the deed for the first time and i honostly feel like shit...



heres the thing, okay we have hung out a few wks not and we are just "haning out" but i do believe that he sees it more . . .



he is a great personality and very cute but soo not my type, and i just see him as friends and the making out and the touching was great but once we went upstairs it just got akward, like i had a mini-panic attack (shaking) and i was way out of my league, but yeah we did it and i mean it did feel good but mentally i knew i was doing something i was going to eternally regret . . . like i kept looking at the clock and just wanted it to get over w/ . . . (i was the bottem - to clarify)



and afterward, i had to get back to campus (he lives off-campus) and i mean the whole time we did the deed and even when we we were making out before hand he kept saying "you're so cute...you're so hott...you're perfect... "you're a 10 out of 10" . . . etc and these were sorta turn-offs b/c it made me feel bad b/c i didn't see him the same, you know?



i don't know ~ so my first time was a bust i guess . . . but yeah i feel like shit and really don't know what to do



~Jeff~
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wiserabbit
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Re: :'(

Post by wiserabbit »

well first thing I can say is don't regret it. Just look at it as a learning experience. I hated my first time as well. I mean th eguy didn't even get me off. but that is a diffrent subject. It happened. now the preshure is off a little for you for I mean for now you know kinda what to expect. All you can do is go oon from here and learn from the experience.



I was in the somewhat of the same boat. but let me tell you after my first time i learned that it is ok for me to say no. or even to put bonderies on the relationship.



I hope this helped a little.

Matt
"life has become a busy maze where I just seem to always be running into dead ends. When will I find my way to the end when will I be free from this dizzing life I lead." ~ me
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Re: :'(

Post by SirPostAlot »

yeah i know i could have said no but i was into it at first and i just wanted my first time to get over w/ (as horrible as that sounds)...

yeah i didn't get off either ~ and i felt bad b/c he kept trying to, but i knew i wouldn't (i don't have a high sex drive to begin w/ and my mind was being bitchy at me so i knew i wasn't going to) but...hmm, i just dunno...

like he wants to hang out more now and he is great but i can't think of him the same, you know?





~Jeff~
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Saren
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Re: :'(

Post by Saren »

All I know is, that if you don't see him the same, he deserves to know at least that much. He doesn't have to know the sex felt like crap to you either. We all have regrets in life, sexual encounters that we've had; Whatever it may be, you shouldn't regret that night. Like said, it happened, and it was a learning experience for you. I just think if you don't feel like doing it, and it was "for the hell of it" that you shouldn't do it, because you sort of asked for regretting it afterwards. What I'm saying is, in your mind, you knew you'd hate it. So don't worry about it! :)

If you ever feel like that again, take it easy and don't pressure yourself. Really think about it. Because it is an important thing to you. <3

Don't pressure yourself. Take a while to yourself next time and wonder if that's the person you would WANT to do such a thing with...
<3

My beautiful baby girl

Autumn E. R-K.

Born on: February 26th, 2007

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Wheretogo
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Re: :'(

Post by Wheretogo »

*hugs* tell him how you feel. it may not be fun and it will have consequences but tell him how you feel.
Why give up, why give in?

It's not enough, it never is.

So I will go on until
the end.

We've become desolate.

It's not enough, it never
is.

But I will go on until the end.

I've lost my way.

I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.

Living is
hard enough

Without you fucking up.

Until The End - Breaking Benjamin
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wiserabbit
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Re: :'(

Post by wiserabbit »

I agree with wheretogo tell him what you are feeling. He should understand and if he doesn't is that really someone you want to be friends with.
"life has become a busy maze where I just seem to always be running into dead ends. When will I find my way to the end when will I be free from this dizzing life I lead." ~ me
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Paris In Flames
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Re: :'(

Post by Paris In Flames »

....did it hurt?
xMOSHx xHELLA HARDCOREx xBREAKDOWNx



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On the outside, they look so good

They're walking to Wallstreet in a straightjacket...
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Re: :'(

Post by wiserabbit »

i dono for him but for me it did. It hurt a lot. It still does at times if I am not calm enough. like if i am strssed it seems to hurt more.



Matt
"life has become a busy maze where I just seem to always be running into dead ends. When will I find my way to the end when will I be free from this dizzing life I lead." ~ me
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Jaegermeister
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Re: :'(

Post by Jaegermeister »

Jeff, join the club. Lots of people regret their first times. I do. Well, I can't say I was in your position, but my first time was with a girl I wasn't even completely sexually attracted to and I was so drunk I had whiskey dick and couldn't finish. So don't let your first time ruin it for the rest of your sex life. Trust me, there is GREAT sex. I just wouldn't be having any of it.



Anywho, I know what you mean about the feeling like shit part. It seems every gay man goes through a phase where he wants to hook up all the time, but that was never my thing. It didn't prevent me from throwing myself into it though, and after every time I felt similar to how you do. I've realized that these random hookups lack the intimacy I seek. Perhaps it's the same way for you. Don't let this be a negative experiece Jeff, just roll with it and learn from it.
"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" --OSB



"Be who you are and be that well" --St Francis de Sales.



Suaviter et fortiter



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Re: :'(

Post by SirPostAlot »

Yeah - TJ i think it dealt w/ the intamacy thing - like i felt he was more into me than i was into him and i guess i just desire someone who i am more attracted to in that sence . . .



umm, it didn't really hurt (then again he used like 6 lbs of lube, haha - like it stung a little, but i wouldn't say that it was like painful . . .



(maybe b/c he used soo much lube it didn't feel as good?)



~Jeff~
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Re: :'(

Post by Saren »


Yeah - TJ i think it dealt w/ the intamacy thing - like i felt he was more into me than i was into him and i guess i just desire someone who i am more attracted to in that sence . . .



umm, it didn't really hurt (then again he used like 6 lbs of lube, haha - like it stung a little, but i wouldn't say that it was like painful . . .



(maybe b/c he used soo much lube it didn't feel as good?)



~Jeff~

[/b]


Haha, Quite possibly. Just because he can feel it better. ^-^



Just don't rush with trying to figure out who that right one is. Now you know that you don't ever want him like that, and there's your first experience in sex. Heh, not such a fun one, but not all first times, and not EVERY time is perfect. You'll find you're not in the mood and just wanna get it done and over with (for the other person's sake, :P ) or just because you're not in enough of a mood, but just barely.



Whatever the situation, you'll find that guy where it was worth it. Now you can look back and laugh. Silly thing it may sound like, but you'll see the situation through and that there will be better times.



(Oh, and Kyle suggested if you ever think it hurts, take in a deep breath. Makes it hurt less. :P Don't ask...)
<3

My beautiful baby girl

Autumn E. R-K.

Born on: February 26th, 2007

<3



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Re: :'(

Post by SirPostAlot »

haha i'll keep that in mind! :)



yeah i don't really see him the same but he wants to hang out 24/7 but i am apart of soo many organizations, so my only free time is sat and sunday but my sis is up this wkend (visiting her friend who goes here and me of course) so i cna't see him this wkend (which is good, sadly to say, haha)



~Jeff~
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Saren
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Re: :'(

Post by Saren »

Heh, well your sister is more important anyway, and I'm sure you guys missed each other very much! If the guy ever asks you to hang out, just tell him the truth. The year getting busier, and so on.



<3 Hope you have a great weekend, Jeff!!
<3

My beautiful baby girl

Autumn E. R-K.

Born on: February 26th, 2007

<3



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SirPostAlot
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Re: :'(

Post by SirPostAlot »

well that is what i have been telling im and he just keeps saying like "well your saturday is free, right?" and i mean part of me wants to hang out w/ him (the lust) but part of me (my brain) doesn't want to...haha



~Jeff~
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Re: :'(

Post by Saren »

All you gotta do is listen to your heart. It is more important to listen to what your heart is telling you than to give in to the one thing you can control. Lust is strong, but go by your gut feeling. It knows what it's saying, you just gotta live by it.

<3 Don't do anything you know you'll regret, hun.
<3

My beautiful baby girl

Autumn E. R-K.

Born on: February 26th, 2007

<3



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Re: :'(

Post by SirPostAlot »

haha yeah i know, but also i have to think about what if i do regret not doing it you know?

like "its better to be safe than sorry" type thing . . .



i dunno, like he is nice and fun but, ehh, i dunno



~Jeff~
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Re: :'(

Post by Beautiful »

Well do whats best for YOU. You obviously dont sound like you want to so don't
Little Miss F*cker,

Don't Move An Inch

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I looked at myself

So many things I hate in me

So many things are so hard to believe

I can hear the whole world calling me

Used to be all that i wanted

You to see all that i you to be

does anyone care




Add me.

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*Jamie*



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Born Feb 9th, 2007

He has owns heart. :)
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SirPostAlot
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Re: :'(

Post by SirPostAlot »

haha it depends on what mood i am in...

i don't have a high sex drive, so its either i am in the mood or i am not (nothing inbetween) haha, kinda odd yeah i know - but ohh well . . .and right now im not really in the mood, so i am kinda "Scared" to talk to him b/c i don't want it to go into that direction...



its very complicated . . . umm, this topic is sorta going around in a circle and it is basically done, so i am just going to go ahead and close it (since it is my topic and all, haha)





~Jeff~



*Closed - due to topicstarter (mine) decisiion*
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