Everything for your self esteem

How can this be happening? Why is it always me? Do you ever ask yourself these questions or do you simply want to vent? Do it all here, we'll try to help.

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Gandalf
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Everything for your self esteem

Post by Gandalf » Fri Mar 21, 2003 2:40 pm

These are the very Self-Esteem tricks I use myself, so I know they work well.



1) Think of things that give you confidence. For example school grades if you have any good ones. Find things that you are good at (for me it's computers), or better than other people at. I know it's not good to think your better than other people at something, but it does give you good self-esteem!

The most important thing is to make you feel good about yourself, you can only do that if you have something to be proud of; so find something you are good at.



2) It?s not about who other people are; it?s about who you are. If you are yourself with one person (such as a relative at home) you are also yourself with others too. Be yourself.

If you have trouble talking to people then this is how I suggest you think.



3) Relaxing. The biggest secret to having confidence is to relax. I can't say it any clearer than that, but if you try and relax your whole body it will help. It has a lot to do with meditation, if you have a meditation technique use that, if not then pm me and I?ll tell you. :) Another thing you could think is what is the worst thing that can happen in this situation? In the end whatever happens; it doesn't matter. The situation is likely to result in much worse consequences if you are nervous.



4) If you feel afraid then I use this self-esteem technique, which I've just worked out and tested. (This is the strange one; there usually is one in most of my posts, lol) This happened because I was sitting in a lecture. The man that was speaking decided that he would ask people questions at random, and naturally I was experiencing a feeling of utter dread at the prospect of being asked a question in front of a whole audience. As I was sitting there I began thinking about how I would feel most comfortable talking like this, and I realised that I feel most confident at home. I then visualised home and how it would feel to be sitting there right now. This had the effect of making me much more confidant and I managed to answer the questions without coughing and spluttering, or being really nervous about it. This one works with among large groups of people.



Well those are the things that have helped to give me self-esteem. I hope they work for you as they have for me.



This topic is intended to be permanent; please could no staff member unpin it, thanks.
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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by Gandalf » Sun Jun 15, 2003 5:51 am

I think the first thing is to drop your caution. I had lower self-esteem because I held back and lacked belief that I had self-esteem. Just going for it actually can work sometimes. This may sound a little illogical to just have higher self-esteem, but it can work. You may also hold back because you think that the change in personality or the more confident you would not last or people would notice. Even if this were true, you would still be heading in the direction of higher self-esteem; you would be proving to yourself that you were capable.



People lack higher self-esteem because they worry about what others think and are self-conscious. This self-consciousness stops us from being who we are. If you think about it you'll probably realise that in yourself you could even have a larger personality than those around you. Because of this you cower inwards as you would be the centre of attention among the people you are near. I think if you cease to care what others think about you, you would do yourself a big favour. If you don't care what others think, you are able to be more confident because it won't matter whether you make mistakes or not. You lack confidence because you fear mistakes and error when socialising.



One of the most important principals to gaining self-esteem is finding what you are good at. Find the things you are best at and hold them in your mind wherever you go. Do this particularly when you feel you have low self-esteem and you will probably hold your head up much higher. Push all doubt away and know that because you are good at whatever you are, you are just as confident and able as others are.



If you feel more relaxed in a certain situation (particularly at home in bed) then this may help. Whenever you lack confidence, imagine you are in a safe place. You are completely comfortable and not afraid of anything because there really isn't anything to be afraid of. If you close your eyes briefly or just imagine/visualise you are actually there when self-esteem is lacking you can actually bring some of that comfortable contended feeling into yourself wherever you are.



This brings me on to my next point. Being more relaxed is essential to having self-esteem. When your physical body is tense your mind is functioning at a lower and far less profound way than when you are relaxed. If you relax all of your muscles and try to be aware of and remove any tension from you, you will find it far easier to be confident.



Stand up tall: Once you have your belief in who you are and what your capable of/what your good at, try and stand up tall (non- metaphorically.) Standing up tall reminds you it doesn't matter what others think and that you can be confident. (Buddhists also believe it keeps you more relaxed and focused!)



The most important point is; don't end up believing you have the lowest self-esteem because others say you have. I did this and sadly took it to the extreme. At it's height I couldn't even talk to anyone because I believed I had low self-esteem. Self-esteem is a belief not a reality, it exists because you believe it does.



This came from another post. It contains some of the things already in the first post but there is some new material.
"The happiest people are those that are too busy to realise whether they are or not."

Enlightenment is the one and only answer to happiness

It will take a lifetime to realise who you are, just trying to be yourself is a much more obtainable goal

Read And Follow The Support Group Rules

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by pmfman » Thu Sep 11, 2003 10:37 pm

There is something that you can do anywhere that works great and no one has to know about it. Write things that you don't like about yourself. For every bad thing you write, write two things that you like about yourself or others like about you. Repeat this as much as you like untill you get the picture.



I'll do an example,

I have so many disorders it isn't funny - I am musically inclined, I am a nice person (from others)

My school marks are dropping lately - I am mechanically inclined, I am good at helping others (from others)



You dont have to use some from other people if you don't want to, but if you are stuck then do so. If you are too afraid to ask a friend, talk to me, or anyone else here on this site, I'm sure they will be happy to help.
"we have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated" - Corinthians

"only two things are infinate, the universe and stupidity" - Albert Einstein

"People standing on escalators are a testimony to human lazyness" - Christ Novolestic

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are" - Kurt Cobain

"Just because your paraniod it dosnt mean there not after you" - Kurt Cobain

"Peddle the ass that god gave you, buy nitrous" - Dave Ghrol

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by Halo_n_Horns » Sat Oct 18, 2003 2:34 pm

1) Stand in front of the mirror every morning and find one thing that you like about yourself. stand there until you find one and say to urself 3 times: i love my ...(nose, hair etc). do this every morning finding a differant part of ur body that u like! sounds silly but it works!!!

2) Go on a shopping spree. Find an outfit which REALLY suits your looks, shape and goes nicely with your eyes. If it matches ur eyes...it will look best on u! Boys go for something that makes ur body more toned!

3) if you are afraid that ur image is gettin too old or boring go for a totally new look! Get a new haircut and a new outfit and transform urself into a person u love urself!

4) Organise a fun day out with ur mates. this will cheer u up since mates r always there if u need a laugh!!!

5) write down the things u DONT like about urself on a piece of paper, then burn it or tear it up whilst saying (with feel) I LOVE ME. THERE IS NOTHING THAT I DO NOT LIKE. say it until u feel reassured!

6) Tidy ur room! its a true fact (and it really works!) that if u tidy ur room u feel better about urself! a messy room sends out bad vibes which ur body picks up making u feel bad about urself!!!

7) Don't blame yourself if people are being mean to u...tell someone who u trust or ignore them!!!

8) Get each of ur mates (or family members) to write down on a piece of paper 3 reasons y they like u sooooo much. then read them to urself! ull soon cheer up to know ur loved!

9) If u have spots or a brace or feel a bit too fat...then ur like me! Spots can be sorted...see a special skin doctor. dont suffer in silence! i know how awful these things are! If u have a brace that upsets u...just remember that wen it comes off u will have nicer teeth than every1 else and it will be worth it!!! and if u feel a bit fat chances are...UR NOT! i was reasearchin for english class and a whoppin 87% of teenage girls think they r too fat! and THEY ARE NOT!!! so dont worry. if u r concerned then try exercising once a day.

10) Think of the thing that is making u feel bad about urself and think up 5 ways to improve it! write them down and get to work on doing them! then u will feel bettter.



And if all else fails...just grab a huge bar of choccie and gobble it up it always works for me! (but im a pig!!!) anyone is welcome to PM ME IF U WANT TO TALK or need more advise. im willing to help :)
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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by Halo_n_Horns » Sat Oct 18, 2003 4:17 pm

lol. yeh. these r a few things that probly sound mega weird but there is summit there that shud work 4 every1!!
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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by Halo_n_Horns » Tue Oct 21, 2003 2:47 pm

did ne of these help ne of u guys???
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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by true » Sat Oct 25, 2003 5:32 pm

sounds awesome except for the eating chocolate- I know, I do it too- but then I feel fat and bad about myself again. . . emotional eating is a viciuos cycle. . .

but those should work for everyone!! Thanx!!!

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by sexyheather » Sun Oct 26, 2003 1:30 pm

sounds great except for getting a new hair cut cuz most likely you'll HATE IT! like the last 4 horrible cut and dye jobs ive had! oh well, hopefully you'll have better luck than me
The quote that saved my life, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by skaterGuy15 » Tue Oct 28, 2003 8:03 pm

Hey this is really good, I'm pinning it :)
I wish I were a spy.

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by archers_angel » Wed Oct 29, 2003 11:01 am

The shopping one is the best one by far!!!!! It can cure every single one of life's problems!!!

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by Halo_n_Horns » Sat Nov 01, 2003 1:34 pm

yeh. shoppin always cheers me up...unless i have no money at the time. but yeh...these shud help some people. something helps for everyone.
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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by English_Rose » Fri Nov 14, 2003 4:10 pm

Hey, I'm going to try this out!!!!!!!

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by Halo_n_Horns » Wed Nov 19, 2003 2:29 pm

glad these are of some use to u guys!!!
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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by Platinum_orange_defect » Mon Dec 01, 2003 11:33 pm

what if you dont have enough good things to cover the bad things?




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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by pmfman » Wed Dec 03, 2003 12:41 pm

Originally posted by Platinum_orange_defect@Dec 1 2003, 09:33 PM

what if you dont have enough good things to cover the bad things?


get other people to help you
"we have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated" - Corinthians

"only two things are infinate, the universe and stupidity" - Albert Einstein

"People standing on escalators are a testimony to human lazyness" - Christ Novolestic

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are" - Kurt Cobain

"Just because your paraniod it dosnt mean there not after you" - Kurt Cobain

"Peddle the ass that god gave you, buy nitrous" - Dave Ghrol

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by mandapanda1221 » Wed Dec 03, 2003 8:20 pm

i think i'll try this... it seems like a good idea! thanx! :D
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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by flavaoftheweak » Wed Dec 03, 2003 8:55 pm

:)



my friend wrote down why he loved me so much and what i meant to him and everything once when i was going through depression last year, i keep it in my wallet, and look at it whenever i get sad... i know theres always someone that loves me.



you helped!
lets unwravel the egde of time...



without the bad times, the good times wouldnt be so sweet.



BAOF!



its the little things people say that make your whole day worthwile...

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by angelbbi55 » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:25 pm

yea...that's really nice and all...hope it helps some people...

wouldn't help me but they're really cool :)
I look into your eyes

So full of pain and betrayl

And as I wipe the tear from your face

I see that they've never looked so beautiful...

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by Silenced Chylde » Sat Dec 06, 2003 4:15 pm

That's really very clever, I have to admit. But, what if you don't like anything physical about yourself? And what if you feel too bad about your body to go shopping? What if your friends are always busy, and never have time for you? What about finding things about yourself that you don't like, but you've already tried changing them (and it doesn't work)? What if your room is already clean and you still feel bad about yourself? What if it really is your fault people are mean to you? What if you just overall hate your body image..? And what if you don't like Chocolate? *anime sweat drop* I know, I'm a freak. Chocolate = a night full of a churning stomach for me. Heh.

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Re: Everything for your self esteem

Post by Michy » Sat Dec 06, 2003 4:26 pm

thank you! that is awsome! i will defiently have to try some of those! :hug: thanks sooooo much!
feel the chemicals going to your head

even if its from something light

get that high sensation all over again

go on, go after it again

dont do to much crap though

dont need a bad trip now do we



if the ocean was weed and I was a duck, id swim to the bottom and smoke my way up, but the ocean aint weed nor am I a duck, so pass the bong and shut the fuck up

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