parentals...

[secrets]

i don know my dad. my mother left him when i was like 2. so no dad in the pic of my fam. just a stepdad. but anyways... im posting this to talk about my mom. my really doesnt like me these days. i dont think she liked me much before. but she doesnt like much about me now. she hates that im gay. she hates that i hang out with gays... just as friends. she hates that i got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago... when she has had them before. she hates how i dress. coz im not girly enough. but i dress comfy and what i like. i think she wants me to be whatever she wants. she wants me to follow every bit of advice she gives. but i dont listen. im gonna be who i want to be. she even said to me when we were talking... i said im the good kid out of my friends coz i dont go out and do all this bad stuff. she said sometimes she wish i would coz its alot better than me being gay. she thinks that being gay is so wrong that she says like me being in alot of trouble is better than being gay. im a big disappiontment to her. but theres nothing i can do. no matter how hard i try she will never like me.

[Ingenuity]

parents don't choose their children, and they are just people who want certain things, and like to be around certain types of people, and they do stupid shit. However, i am reasonably certain that your mother loves you, and thats all you can ask for. People don't like to admit that, and they say they hate their parents, and their parents don't care, but in the long run you'll realize that she does. A friend of mine actually just admitted to me that I was right, and his mother does really care, even if she does un-motherly things sometimes. You might not be able to become your mothers best friend, so just make the best of it, and work to create as polite a relationship as you can. Homophobia pisses me off, but its a natural human behavior to reject things that are different than what you are use to, or whats in your comfort zone. don't expect your mother to be some super person who is magically understanding of anything that you do, just because shes your mother. You might have to be the bigger person and try to make her comfortable. you should be the one to avoid fights, and brush things off that could be instigating. you wont have a fairy tale relationship with her, but it will be respectful of all the years and time she put into raising you. I'm not trying to side with either of you, I'm just saying that people live and they die, so don't spend your time fighting with people about things you cant change. She might accept you for who you are, and she might now. maybe you'll be the one to change into a different person, no-one ever knows, but just be nice while your still living with your mother, and don't bring up things that you know will upset her or start a fight. i hope things go well, and that by the time you move out theres still something of relationship left with your mother.