How do I tell them?

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Spitfire
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How do I tell them?

Post by Spitfire »

As most of you probably dont really know me, I'll clue you in that I am 17 and soon turning 18.



This summer I am planning a week long vacation to Utah to meet a female friend I've been good friends with for a very long time but have never met in person. I still live with my parents and will be when I take this trip this summer. I havent bought plane tickets or anything yet but I am deffinatly planning on doing this.



I havent told my parents and they really have no idea, and I doubt they'll really approve. I know they cant really stop me becuase I will be an adult, but I'm kind of still afraid of how they will react. My question is how should I tell them and how soon?



They've also met several friends they met in chat rooms on the internet all the way in Texas, so I think it'd be kind of hypocritical for them to tell me they dont want me to go, although I am quiet a bit younger than they were D:
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FiZzBaW
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Re: How do I tell them?

Post by FiZzBaW »

Friend,



Even though you will be 18, I still suggest that you get your parent's "approval" and advice before taking that trip, especially if you plan on living with them for a while longer. regardless of your age, they can still make your life a lot easier or a lot harder if you are needing any type of support from them, like housing.



I would imagine that if you approach them in a mature way, sooner than later, they would respect your decision and offer advice. I think it would be much better for you to tell them soon, as opposed to them finding out another way.



-Hope this helps

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Lena
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Re: How do I tell them?

Post by Lena »

I agree with Fizz. Also - definately make sure someone knows where you're going and who you're going to meet. I've had nothing but good experiences with everyone I've met from the internet. But its better to be safe than sorry.
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Nikki
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Re: How do I tell them?

Post by Nikki »

I had that too once, and it worked out just well (in fact it's a guy I met online that I wanted to meet irl, and we went out together for a year and a half after it!)

So it's a good thing you think about it now. You should start talking to your parents about that friend of yours. Just say that you met that really cool girl online, and you've been talking to her for awhile etc. Just tell them that, and be natural, don't do it like you're going to ask something. Tell them a funny fact about her or something, to make it look even more natural (as in, the reason why you're telling them about her)

Then just keep doing it, reminding your parents of her, as in "Oh yea and imagine, that girls speaks Spanish! It's cool, I'd like to learn it too sometime". I mean, just talk about stuff that refer to her and mention her in it (lol, I hope you know what I mean, coz I'm not sure I'm explaining it right). Do it often (not too much, but often enough to let your parents know what kind of person she is - nice, smart etc.)

And like a month before the trip tell them "Remember the girl I talked to you about? She's inviting me for a week and I'd really like to go!" and bla bla bla, you know :)

This really worked for me, and it's much easier for your parents as well. You don't lose their trust by just bluntly saying "I'm 18 I don what I want now" (no, that way you'll just ruin it all). And your parents will be mentally prepared for that too, they'll feel like they almost know the person already (coz you'll have been talking about that girl for ages).

Good luck with it ;) And I'm sure it'll be ok
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Nikki
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Re: How do I tell them?

Post by Nikki »

and by the way, I was JUST your age at that time (when I met that guy, here on HT btw), and he's in another country (I'm in Belgium, he's in Holland)
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Lena
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Re: How do I tell them?

Post by Lena »

Nikki's idea is good. My parents knew (and still know) I talk to people (English and American, mainly) online, and they always knew each time I went to meet someone. It was an easy situation because I talked to my parents about these people and they grew to regard these people as my friends, on the same level as my IRL friends are. Often I'd be online and my mother would walk in and say 'oh, tell so and so I say hello' etc. So it wasn't out of the ordinary for my parents when I announced I was meeting this or that person from the internet. (I was brought up to be independent - I didn't actually ever ask for permission, I just stated that I was going. LOL).



So.... yes. I'd recommend introducing your parents to the idea gradually. :)
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