she is 12 but acts like she is 5

[justinlover3487]

I have a little sister who is 12 years old. But she acts like she is around 5. She can't walk through the halls without turning on ALL the lights. She showers with the door open and won't sleep upsatirs in her room. I live in the dorms at school on weekdays, so while I am not there, she sleeps in my room. It drives me INSANE!!! She eats in my room and leaves her dirty panties on my bed. The other day I found a roach in my room thanks to the food that she left there. I have talked to my family and my brother, sister, dad and live in boyfriend are all annoyed by her actions. Me more so b/c it is my room and I have to clean it every week b/c of the crap she leaves in there. My mother sees nothing wrong with what is going on. I don't like that my room is being used for my 12 year old sister. She has a room that my dad painted and put in a new bed for her. AND SHE NEVER SLEEPS IN IT!!! How can I get my mom to understand that I HATE what is going on. Liney is about to be 13, but doesn't act like it. HELP!!!!!:ranting:

[Lena]

I'll reply properly later - but the first thought that springs to mind is could you sleep in 'her' room instead?

[InnocenceLost57]

My sister does the same exact thing. She slept on the floor of my parents' room until she was literally 15 years old. It's completely ridiculous, and I know EXACTLY how you feel.



Honestly, if your parents aren't stepping in, you might have to take matters into your own hands. Though it seems childish (maybe it is, but hey, if it works...), maybe collect all the garbage, food, clothes, etc. that she leaves in your room and deposit it on her pillow every night? I really don't know quite what to tell you, since the situation in our hours just kind of resolved itself (though my sister is still a complete and total spoiled brat).

[Lena]

Okay - I'm awake now and back from work.



Wow, your situation sounds incredibly frustrating.



What does your dad say about it - could you ask him to perhaps talk to your mom or talk to your sister about it?



Personally I wouldn't worry so much about your sister showering with the door open (she'll probably grow out of it as adolescence progresses and you can always knock on the door (frame) or avoid the bathroom if the shower is running. And I wouldn't worry about her always turning on the lights (that only affects the bills your parents pay and thats no hindrance to you, only your parents - if your parents don't like it, they should talk to her).



However I would maybe suggest tackling the issues that really concern you the most - ie her invading your privacy and your space whilst she has her own room that she could be using.

Perhaps the way to tackle this would be to tell your parents how you feel in a tactful/diplomatic way.. Try something like 'I would really appreciate my own space, seeing as I have to share a dormitory at school', or 'please would you ask 'name of sister' to keep my room tidy when she uses it, because I like to have a nice tidy space of my own at home'.



Alternatively you could ask your sister why she likes to sleep in/use your room. Is she scared of the dark, lonely and/or misses you and therefore wants to spend as much time as possible with you at the weekends?

If its any of these, you could suggest she tries a nightlight (or fairy lights, if they're heavy duty ones), or listens to soft music when she goes to sleep. You could suggest a 'special sister to sister' quality time together at the weekends, perhaps. You could maybe help her personalise her room and make it feel a friendlier, cosier, special space to her.



I actually like innocences suggestion of putting her dirty pants and clutter on her bed, so that she has to deal with it herself before she goes to bed (teaches consequences too - if she doesn't want to deal with it before bed, she shouldn't do it in the first place). I don't think its a childish - your sister needs to take responsibility for her own mess and you shouldn't have to deal with it or view it when you like to have a clean and tidy personal space. Also she should take 50/50 responsibility for cleaning your room if shes going to be sleeping in there (another point to bring up to your parents, perhaps - you shouldn't be cleaning up after her).



The other thing that comes to mind (as before) is whether you could sleep in her room instead - either on a temporary basis if you feel you'd like some space, or on a permanent basis. Does she simply prefer your room for whatever reason? It might be worth trading if it means you get to have your own personal space.



Take care,



Lena.

[justinlover3487]

Thanks for your help. Lindsey sleeps in my room b/c she is afraid of everything. She watches scary movies and then can't sleep. I just find it to be a pain. I have talked to both my mother and Lindsey and they get very devencive about the whole thing. Dad has talked to mom and all she says is that she will grow out of it. I can't sleep in her room b/c it is a mess. Toys EVERYWHERE!!!!! Food everywhere and dirty clothes. And the putting her dirty clothes on her bed won't work...she is NEVER in there.

[InnocenceLost57]

Honestly, if it's that bad, see if you can get some sort of lock for your door so that she can't get in there. It's ridiculous that she won't stay in her own room.



If putting the stuff in her room won't work, maybe put it in your parents' room, since they evidently refuse to deal with it anyways. Though I'm not sure how much trouble that would get you into.



Why is sleeping in your room so much better than in hers?

[Lostinhersong]

I suggest getting a lock for your door. I used to have to lock my door from my little brother, he was such a snoop.

If that doesn't stop her...beat her to a pulp. Haha, just kidding.

I liked the above suggestion for putting the junk in your mom and dad room...Talk about a serious slap to the face. Even better, put it on your MOM's pillow. She's the one who swears there isn't a problem.

Good luck, honey. Keep us informed!

[justinlover3487]

I would put things in my parents room, but because she wont go upstairs to her room, she wont go to her own bathroom. She uses my mom's bathroom, meaning more dirty clothes are in there. My dad wound let me get a lock b/c it really isnt MY room, it is his. He pays for the house and I don't. I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of and NOTHING is working. I even put a halloween thing in there that had a timer that would go off during the night while she was in there. My mom found it and moved it. I have tried to scard the crap out of her to get her to stay out. but it didn't work. I hate this so much.

[nao sozinho]

It doesnt really sound like your going to get rid of her. Have you tried telling her you dont like her in there. I know it sounds stupid, but maybe it could help. Hmm. You cant put a lock on the door, you cant scare her...maybe you should take all of your pillows and blankets off your bed and go sleep in the living room. Or tell her theres someone else in that room. Anthing. Im sorry your sister is so pesky.

Good luck

[Barbies are Evil]

maybe its less about the scary things and more about her missing you.......why don't you try to set aside special time every weekend, just you and her, and tell her the first time you do this that it won't conitinue if she keeps sleeping in your room, but talk to her about her room.....what she likes and doesn't like about it. Maybe theres something that all of you but her are missing, maybe theres something about her room that you two can change together to make her more comfortable in there.