Or lack of

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Spitfire
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Or lack of

Post by Spitfire »

I had a hard time even putting this thread in this forum because its more about the lack of a relationship than a relationship itself.



Ive been single for quite a few months now, and I've got to the point where I'm just plain lonely, and its causing issues.



I guess I never really saw myself as being a needy person or anything, but I guess I just cant take it anymore. I got really close to one of my ex's shortly after I started talking to her again about a month or two ago, and I guess I really fell for her again and was so sure that things were looking like we were about to get back together. And then suddenly I got shut down twice on one date, and a few days later, the next day she told me she couldnt date me, and a few days later she was back with her ex boyfriend again. From that day on its been like...I have severe emotional instability issues. I still hang out with her a lot because I'm friends with her and her boyfriend, and my other good friends hang out with them too. But its like...I have 4 good friends, each are dating eachother. So its like I love hanging out with them, but then I have to sit there..watching them kiss and cuddle and touch. I'll stay at their apartment, but then at night they all go to bed with eachother in their bedrooms and I stay in the living room alone on the couch. And I know I hate feeling like its a bad thing that I'm single, but I do. I feel like I need somebody that 'I' can care care about and be close too...Im at the point where I dont even want to be by them anymore becuase I just have too many triggers.....Everytime they talk about sex...everytime they touch, everytime they kiss, everytime anything there is always something to remind me that I'm alone. Even music, I cant listen to music with my friends because music is so often about relationships. Im just sick of not finding somebody, and its not like I havent been looking. Then if I get triggered I just get in a really bad mood and just want to leave, usually do, and then one of my friends always gets upset because I wont talk about things, or if I do she'll get upset because she disagrees with it. Also I hate hanging around with people I'm uncomfortable with...or my ex girlfriend when she drinks...I dont know why..but for some reason it hurts me to see her and only her drinking, I dont understand it, but I guess Im still just protective of her because I do care a lot about her as a friend and so many bad things have happened in my life becuase of alcohol. Im not even sure where Im going with this huggge post anymore, so Im going to just stop lol



Point is, Im sick of being alone, and if I cant find a way to get over it, Im going to stop hanging out with my friends too, and thats stupid.
Blame it on the yellow bananas..they just sit there..all..yellow-like!!



~FRODO THE FLYING PEANUT~





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Barbies are Evil
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Re: Or lack of

Post by Barbies are Evil »

I think you just have to realize that your doing the right thing by not settling, and waiting for someone that you can really care about and they can really care about you too.......your doing a good thing....I think you just have to realize that.
TJ[10:13 PM]: no not really..... it's all so.... like wow..... screw steps, you took a fuckin jet pack and strapped it on yourself and rocketed your way forward (thats my big bro)







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CausticTears
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Re: Or lack of

Post by CausticTears »

I have to be honest and say I hate being single, sometimes. Sometimes, it gets lonely and you get sad. But being single has its own rewards. Being single is the only time you get to figure yourself out and better yourself. Concentrate on your schooling, your friends (why are you not going to hang out with your friends?)... And I always say, if you're looking for someone... you won't find them. If you set that vibe that you're looking, people pick up on it and it's unattractive. If you are self-confident and not worried to find someone, you will. Just look at people as new friends and someone you can have fun with. That's what I think
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

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Spitfire
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Re: Or lack of

Post by Spitfire »

But I'm at the point where being lonely is turning into being sick. I mean, I can enjoy everything and everything about my life until I remember that I still dont have somebody to go home to, or call at any time of the night just to say hi. I dont want to stop hanging out with friends, but I want to find a way to make myself okay with being alone so that hanging out with them doesnt depress me. I really like hanging out with them, I just hate the internal problems that come with it. And its not their fault or anything. I dont know, Im just ..ugh I dont even know. I feel like a girl in junior high.
Blame it on the yellow bananas..they just sit there..all..yellow-like!!



~FRODO THE FLYING PEANUT~





Post 200- Aug 10, 2004



Post 250- Aug 17, 2004



Post 300- Aug 23, 2004



Post 400- Sep 26, 2004



Post 500- Oct 26, 2004






Dont Make Me Eat Your First-Born Child!!
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